#WednesdayWords - George Eliot

Did you know that George Eliot's real name was Mary Ann (or Marian, depending on source) Evans? Her pseudonym both concealed her gender -- a useful move in the 1800s -- and the fact that she was an unmarried woman, living with a married man. 

Basically, George was way ahead of her time. In many ways. She was not conventional in her choices or her appearance. According to a New Yorker article, "Henry James characterized her as 'magnificently ugly, deliciously hideous.'"

The same article refers to one man as someone who "declined to fall in love with her."

Isn't that a fascinating idea? The notion that you can "decline" to fall in love with someone? You could write a poem about that. But, I'm going to direct you down a different creative route. For today's creativity exercise, choose a pseudonym -- and make your selection with no regard to gender. 

Then, remember: It's not too late. 

Creativity Tip: Seize the Seconds

I heard from a few of you in response to yesterday's post. Yes, you appreciate the enthusiasm and optimism. No, you are not in the mood to carpe diem, much less the whole dang year. 

As my father would have said: Fine. That's fine. Let's try something else. If you're not ready to seize the day, seize the seconds. Let's take, for example, those seconds when you're being a good pandemic person and washing your hands. Rather than singing the "Happy Birthday" song twice, focus on what you're feeling. Pay attention to the water temperature. Enjoy the suds. Give your brain 20 seconds of peace, simply by focusing on the matter, literally, at hand. 

Will you wash all your troubles down the drain? Nope. But you will have proven to yourself that you can carpe moments -- and moments turn into minutes. Minutes into hours. Hours into days. 

You see where I'm going. Work with me, people! Seize the possibility.

Creativity Tips: Take My Hand

When I was little and had a nightmare, Mom wouldn't let me tell her about it until after I had breakfast. Superstitious to the end, Mom would remind me that, "If you tell a dream before breakfast, it comes true."

Let me assure you, before you read this post, that I have already had breakfast. 

Last night, I dreamt that I was taking a trip with Mom and we were running late for the plane. There was no way we were going to make it, and I couldn't find my shoes or my passport or something. The girls were trying to help, but they didn't know what to do. Tom had bought some special gift for me to take, and I didn't have time to look at it. 

We only had 20 minutes to get to the gate at the airport, we hadn't left the house yet, we still needed to pick up Mom. There was no way we could get there in time, and yet ... I was still determined to try. 

Earlier in the week, I dreamt that the current president had baked something, and it wasn't good. I was trying to fix it. I was pulling out all the baker tricks at my disposal, but nothing helped. The president was remarkably calm about my inability to fix his mistakes. And, suddenly it occurred to me that since I couldn't fix what I had, I needed to bake my grandmother's pumpkin bread. If I did that, everything would be OK. 

There are more, but I'll spare you. And, yes. I know Freud would have a field day with all of this. 

I also know that my dreams, my anxieties, aren't unique. Based on the conversations I've had with friends lately, tensions remain high. People are twitchy. The election is over but the political fighting continues, the pandemic numbers are climbing, winter is closing in, Thanksgiving will be different -- the reasons for our collective stress are real. 

Here's what I want you to do: Breathe. Really breathe. Deep breaths, in and out, throughout the day. Your brain has enough going on without being oxygen deprived. 

Once you're oxygenated, I want you to do a few more things:

1. Back away from social media. "There's nothing to see here, folks. Nothing to see." Social media is a train wreck in motion, and it's hard to look away. Fortunately, you can do hard things. I'm not saying give it all up, simply back away. If you want to stay informed without being alarmed, I strongly suggest following Jessica Yellin on Instagram. Her #NewsNotNoise approach is insightful, factual, and reassuring. I've also become a fan of the Morning Briefing from the Associated Press. 
   
   
2. Look Up. Focus on the people right in front of you. I recently had coffee with a friend I hadn't seen since the pandemic started, and had to remind her that, "Facebook will still be here in 30 minutes. I won't be." Our obsession with the news of the moment is completely understandable, but this news cycle will pass. And, even with masks, we can make eye contact with the people right in front of us, we can give each other the stress-relieving gift of attention. We can talk about the colors of autumn or the power of poetry, rather than politics. We can give each other a much-needed break. 
   
   
3. Plan ahead for happiness. Thanksgiving is one of the best days of the year for our family -- it's the one time of the year we all gather together. I get up early to start cooking, and make the same recipes every year -- mashed potatoes, corn casserole, the Harness family dressing, Mom's Pepperidge Farm cornbread stuffing. (Stuffing goes in the bird, peeps. Dressing does not.) Canned cranberry sauce for me and my nephew Cary. Too much turkey. Too many desserts. Hot rolls.
   
   This year, the family won't get together because we love each other and there's a freakin' pandemic underway. Yesterday, I moped about that. Today, I'm planning ahead for a happy Thanksgiving. And that's where you come in!

Raise Your (Turkey) Hand
Since my extended family won't be together at Thanksgiving -- and therefore won't be drawing on the traditional turkey hands -- I hope you'll play along! Trace your hand, cut it out, color it in, and send it to me! Tell me what you're thankful for, what makes you happy. Tell me how grateful you are for ... whatever. 

Taking a moment to be creative, to proactively reset a few synapses, to share joy and gratitude, is a healthy step forward. 

You've already helped, by reading this post. I'll sleep better tonight, imagining us holding (turkey) hands and moving forward, together. 

From Amber, 2017! Yep. I keep them.

Let's Play: Create a Holiday

It's September! Prelude to the holiday season. But why wait for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, etc.? Create your personal holiday today -- and all the falderol that goes with it. Are there decorations? Special foods? A signature cocktail?

My new holiday is Walloween. It's the  one day of the year that I get to wallow in whatever bad mood I choose. I celebrated Walloween early this year, and went full self-pity mode. So far, Walloween doesn't have decorations (I'm open to suggestions), but there is a costume: ratty old sweats and fuzzy warm socks. Naturally, the traditional Walloween foods include chocolate. And more chocolate. Wrapped up with a potato chip chaser, because Walloween is, after all, a salty holiday. 

Your turn! 

Don't you love words?
I forgot that "wallow" can also be a physical depression.
Think of happy, happy hippos in their wallow. 
Hmmm. Now I'm thinking mud pits. 
That opens the door to completely different Walloween traditions ...  

How's that Happy Working Out?

Life is busy, so you may not have noticed this ... but I haven't blogged all year. It's true. Now, I've been writing for clients. Promoting Look Up: Your Unexpected Guide to Good. Doing Zoom sessions for Creative Mornings. Staying relatively sane, all things considered. 

But I haven't been blogging. 

Why? Excellent question, my friend. I thought publication of the book might be a nice wrap on the blog. I posted Look Up tidbits on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. I wondered, once the pandemic hit, if I had anything encouraging to say. 

Then, some lovely woman on Twitter noticed that I hadn't blogged since December 2019, posed a question, and dang. Here we go again! 

YES. What I wrote at the end of 2019 holds true in 2020. Little happy moments are waiting for us every day. Unfortunately, they're a helluva lot harder to find these days, given everything that's happening to us and around us. 

So, before I launch into happy moments mode, let's pause for a second and pay respect to the unhappy truth: 2020 has been a year of loss. For all of us. 

First and foremost, some of us have lost loved ones. If that's the loss you're mourning, I'm so deeply sorry. Death in the time of COVID can be an intensely lonely experience. Please know: You are not alone. 

Beyond that deepest loss, some of us have lost jobs,  income, and insurance in the past five months. Some of us have lost friends to the shifting schedules and priorities of the pandemic. Weddings have been postponed, vacations cancelled. We've lost freedom and hugs and kisses. Smiles from strangers. Coffee dates and long lunches. We've lost our sense of normalcy, and it's hard to know when/what will return. 

We're facing an avalanche of losses, big and small. 

And yet ... those little happy moments await. Your happy will be different than mine, but in the extra time at home, I've enjoyed: 

• Trying new recipes, experimenting with the ingredients, and eating the delicious results
• Playing with watercolors, with no expectations of producing anything "useful" or "beautiful"
• Reading a lot -- I even joined a Zoom book club
• Getting back to yoga (Can we all just say a loud, "Thank you, Lord!" for Zoom?)

You know what else I've enjoyed? Embracing my inner introvert. As antsy as I've been at times to go anywhere, see anyone, it's been nice to have a valid excuse to simply put on my comfy shorts, a big T-shirt, and stay home. 

If you're having trouble seeing the little happy moments waiting for you, try the anticipation/gratitude exercise:

1. Anticipation
   When you wake up, think of three things you're looking forward to during the day. They don't have to be major -- you could be looking forward to your first cup of coffee, a hot shower, and watching "That Girl" reruns on TV. 
   
   
2. Gratitude
   Before you go to sleep at night, think of three things you're grateful for. Again, it doesn't have to be life-changing. For example, I'm grateful I can end a sentence with a preposition, because I'm not in college anymore. I'm grateful you're still reading the blog, despite the gap in posting. I'm grateful Mary is celebrating her 27th birthday today, and is feeling so much better (she was one of the millions who've had COVID).
   
   I'll even throw in an extra gratitude moment, based on something that happened while I was writing this blog: I'm grateful Kate drives an Audi and wasn't hurt when some guy rear-ended her this morning.
   

Healthy daughters. Now there's a huge HAPPY no matter what else is happening in the world.  

Stay tuned

I have a few ideas for posts, and I'm delighted to be back with you and our blog! If there's anything special you'd like me to discuss, explain, rant about, whatever -- let me know! 

Creativity Exercise: I Have a Dream

Do you have a dream? Of course you do. We all do. Now, you might not have shared it with anyone. It's completely possible you haven't even verbalized it clearly to yourself. 

Today, in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., we're going to change that. Pull out a clean sheet of paper, copy the lines below, and fill in the blanks.

For the world
I have a dream that one day ...

For my country
I have a dream that my ...

For myself
I have a dream that ...

If you want to share your responses, terrific. I'm always delighted to hear from you. But, this is an exercise for you -- an exercise to move you closer to your dreams. Happy Monday!

P.S. Do you know why Dr. King's "I have a dream" speech is a classic? I outlined my theory in this 2013 post. It's a good post. Click and read.*

*I have many faults. False humility has never been one of them.

Creativity Exercise: Intentionally Left Blank

When Tom received his new Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance card this year, the mailing piece had room for two cards. Since he only received one, the other card said:

As Tom expected, this makes me insane. Why? First of all, the card is not blank, is it? Printing this copy on the plastic makes it intentionally not blank.

Far more importantly, why would BCBS (and all the other companies that do this) waste such a perfectly wonderful opportunity? That white space -- the blank card, the blank page -- is a ready-made canvas for eye-catching, brand-building copy.

It could be a simple thank you message, or a mini-billboard, or a funny joke, or a brain twister, or a fortune cookie line, or ... you tell me.

No, seriously. You tell me. Let your mind intentionally go blank. Then, fill it with fun creative ideas for this card. Go!

#Creativity Exercise: Find Your Four Words

While cleaning out a closet, I found a box full of old notes and clippings and a few drawings. This, this, is my self-portrait at 23 years of age.

Oy. So sad. So, so sad. I know why, and I won't bore you with the details -- let's just say men were involved. Now, looking at this, I just want to reach back and tell my dear younger self, "It gets better! It really does!"

The words that come to mind when I look at this are all negative. (Well, other than the part of my brain that says, "Damn, girl. That's not a bad self portrait.") And that brings us to today's creativity exercise!

My Instagram account includes a four-word bio -- and all four words make me happy: Writer. Mother. Baker. Friend. If you had only four words to describe yourself, what would they be? This is a quick exercise: Decide on your four words in the next 60 seconds. Go!

Looking for a longer creativity exercise? Draw a self portrait. Then put it in a box somewhere, for your future self to find ... and remember.

P.S.: I'm glad I lost the despair. I wish I still had that blue-and-white sweater.

Creativity Exercise: Don't ask. I tell.

There are some life lessons I learn. And forget. And learn. And forget. And learn. And ... well. You get the idea. For example:

People ask questions they don't want answered. 

You know what question tops the list? It's one we hear all the time: How are you?

Apparently, 98.6 percent of people who ask that question do not care about the answer. They are, I think, trying to be polite. And yet ...

Do me a favor today, my friends. Show up. If you ask a question, listen to the answer. And if you doubt the veracity of my lead-in line, look at the date on this post.

P.S. Thanks to Kate O'Neill Rauber -- one of the world's great listeners -- for the blog idea!

P.P.S. This post also reminds me of a favorite Yiddish proverb: No answer is also an answer.

#Creativity Exercise: Write a starry night

Annie Weatherwax (is that a great name, or what?) wrote this terrific post for the Ploughshares blog on why writers should draw. Or paint. Among the many fabulous phrases/ideas in her post, this was my favorite:

"Why not, as a writer, strive to paint a sky as vivid and memorable as Van Gogh’s Starry Night. And why not aim to paint your whole world this way?"

It's the perfect question. Why not? Read her post. Then, go paint.

Creativity Tips: Track Your Time

In my line of work, I bill by the hour -- and I bill in quarter-hour segments. To do that accurately, I keep a precise running track of time spent on every project. Let's say: 7:55 - 8:35.

Oftentimes, after making a note of the start time, I get distracted. So, I write 7:55, but then I send an email to a friend or check Facebook. And when I actually get to work on the project, I glance at the clock again and see that it is now 8:05.

And I can't bill a client for those 10 minutes.

For me, time really is money. But the principle applies to all of us. Do you know how much time you redirect or squander during the day? Track it! For one day, pretend you're like me. (Ooooh. I just felt a disturbance in the Force. A huge collective shudder.)

Track your time. Then, consider if there's a more productive, or more creative, way to spend it.

FYI, if I were billing you for this post, you'd be paying for 30 minutes. (Writing it took about 10 minutes. It took another 15 minutes to find the silly Homer gif. This is what I'm talking about ...)

Creativity Exercise: Give Yourself a Code Name

Happy birthday, Eva! 

Today is my baby sister's special day. Eva and I are lucky -- despite the fact that we shared a room until I left for college, we still like each other. Sure, we love each other. We're sisters. But we LIKE each other too. It's a gift.

As lifelong friends, we share memories and secrets. Among them, code names. Uh-huh. Super-secret-spy code names. I'm not telling you what they are -- that kind of confidential information is revealed only on a need-to-know basis.

However, I will help you come up with your own personal code name! If rules help you get going, consider these:

• Choose your fellow spy. No sense in having a code name no one knows.
• The name should be 4-6 characters long.
• The name should have some relevance to your life. Or, your imaginary life. Whatever. 
• Use both numbers and letters. 
• Feeling fancy? Use special characters. Because you are a special character. Aren't we all? 

Yes. I still think of her as my "baby" sister.
Always have. Always will. 

Creativity Tips: The Danger of Distracted Living

If I told you about the foolish mistake I made this weekend, you'd question your own sanity for reading the blog. Suffice it to say, the only logical response to my action was, "What were you thinking?"

And I'll tell you what I was thinking:

I can't believe it's already 8:15 at night and I haven't eaten yet and god I'm tired and I had no idea it would take so long to run those errands and is it really going to snow tomorrow and I'm not sure we have food for dinner and I hope mom is feeling OK for bingo in the morning and Kate's birthday is almost here and Mary will be in this weekend and I forgot to print my work calendar for next week and I don't remember if I have a meeting on Monday so I need to check and damn why is that driver right on my tail and oh I need to buy peanut butter.  

Let me take an educated guess: I'm not the only person with those brainwaves. We're all suffering from distracted living. 

Oy. Squirrels are everywhere. This week, I'm going to ignore them. This week, I'm going to focus. Every time I start thinking of 30 things at once, every time I get distracted from the topic at hand, I'm going to congratulate myself on recognizing the issue* and reel it in. 

Join me! Focus on focus. What do you think? 

P.S. Squirrel! (Sorry. I couldn't resist.)

*Concept stolen from Shanna, who was talking about real focus -- meditation. I'll work on that next. 

Friday Fun: Creativity Is In The Bag

You know the bags airlines keep tucked into seatbacks? You know what they're for? Yeah, well ... think again ...

Your creativity assignment for the weekend? Take an object that is "always" used for one thing -- and use it for something else. Cheers!

#Creativity Exercise: Name Your Book

Truth: I write while I drive. Now, I should hasten to say that I write in my head -- if I need to make a note, I pull over and park.* And I do that fairly often.

What do I brain-write? Most often, titles for stories or books or poems or whatever. So I'm driving along and I think, "Floating Goldfish. That would be a cool title."

Yeah, it's probably a sickness. Oh well. My quirk provides the prompt for today's creativity exercise. If you were going to write the story of your life, what title would be on the cover?

*You do carry pen and paper with you everywhere, right? OK, good. Just checking.

Creativity Exercise: Wordle

Is it cloudy where you are? It's cloudy here. So, the perfect time to make a word cloud on Wordle! Go. Play with your words.

What word in my cloud resonates with you? 

Creative Exercise: Create the oomph

I'm always delighted when I find creative, fun copy in unexpected places. For example, I sent a message to Creative Mornings yesterday, and instead of the usual, "Thank you. Your message has been successfully delivered." kind of response, this popped up:

How spectacular is that? The info I needed -- yes, my message went through -- and a compliment. One that I thoroughly appreciated, since I was really rocking the jammies, bed-head and first cup of coffee look.

What's more -- this isn't brain surgery. It's simply an example of smart thinking about possibilities, words, audience and messaging. It's capitalizing on a moment, rather than letting it slip by.

Today, seize your moment. Take a look at some of the copy you use all the time -- something like the signature line on your emails. How could you make it more creative, strategic, meaningful? What would give it extra oomph?

It's a new year. Update your messaging. Delight someone!

Creativity Exercise: Mark Twain

While doing research for a client, I stumbled across a Mark Twain quote I'd never read before:

Is that perfect or what? It's perfect. And to make it even perfecter, show me the fire. This quote screams out for some kind of illustration. A painting, a photograph, a doodle. Go! Do!

#Creative Exercise: Find the Instigators

Hi, CI buds! Long time no talk -- I've been on vacation. Now I'm back, with a quick quiz for you. Look at this screenshot I grabbed while on the road. Along with the two humans, there are at least two other creative instigators in this photo. Hmmm. Maybe three. Tell me: How many do you see? And what are they?

#npm15 -- Among the Things He Does Not Deserve

Here's a quick National Poetry Month creativity exercise for you -- write a list poem. Start with a topic. Any topic. Let's say, life advice. What to do while waiting for a friend at a bar. Reasons you love Sunday. Places you want to go. Places she should have taken you. 

Or, all the things he does not deserve ...

Among the Things He Does Not Deserve
by Dan Albergotti

Greek olives in oil, fine beer, the respect of colleagues,
the rapt attention of an audience, pressed white shirts,
just one last-second victory, sympathy, buttons made
to resemble pearls, a pale daughter, living wages, a father
with Italian blood, pity, the miraculous reversal of time,
a benevolent god, good health, another dog, nothing
cruel and unusual, spring, forgiveness, the benefit
of the doubt, the next line, cold fingers against his chest,
rich bass notes from walnut speakers, inebriation, more ink,
a hanging curve, great art, steady rain on Sunday, the purr
of a young cat, the crab cakes at their favorite little place,
the dull pain in his head, the soft gift of her parted lips. 

From The Boatloads
© BOA Editions, 2008

Coming up next week: Poetry from my writers workshop buddies, and more poems suggested by CI readers. Here's to a great weekend -- go write!