Creativity Tips: The Dirty Dish Dilemma

There's a classic holiday lyric: Do you hear what I hear? I can answer the question. No. You don't. You don't hear what I hear, you don't see what I see, you don't know what I know.

Given that, it's amazing we communicate at all. But, we do! And we can always do it better. One of the tricks is staying aware of both what we're saying, and what our listener may be hearing. And that requires getting out of the, "It's all about me" zone for a bit. Always a challenge.

Let me give you an example -- the situation that prompted this post. As you read this, keep in mind that Tom and I have been married almost 31 years and together 38 years.

Jan (seeing dirty dishes in the sink): The dishes in the dishwasher are dirty.
Tom (on the couch, reading the newspaper): OK.
Jan rinses his dirty dishes and puts them in the dishwasher. 

Later in the day ...
Jan (seeing more dirty dishes in the sink): The dishes in the dishwasher are dirty.
Tom (on the computer): OK.
Jan rinses his dirty dishes and puts them in the dishwasher.

Still later in the day ... 

Jan (finally realizing he doesn't get it): Honey, when I say, "The dishes in the dishwasher are dirty," what I'm really saying is, "Please put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Don't leave them in the sink."*

Tom (finally realizing why she kept announcing the dishwasher situation): OK. 

If your message isn't getting through, change the message. 

*Fine. Every woman reading this knows that what I'm really saying is, "What the hell? Why can't you put the dishes in the dishwasher? Do you think there's a dishwasher fairy who does it?" But that's the kind of message that never resonates. Trust me. I have learned something in the past 38 years ...