Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Creativity Exercise: What's wrong with this sentence?

During an NPR report on Hurricane Irene, the reporter said:

"There was only one death in the area, but extensive damage was reported."

Tell me what's wrong with that sentence. Post here or email me at jan@sokoloffharness.com. I'll share my answer tomorrow.

3 comments:

Le Grand Lapin said...

To me, the sentence is upside down. The most important item should end the statement.

Also, the way it's written the second phrase doesn't amend the first. It could just as easily be, "There was only one death in the area, but my house has a garage."

Change the conjunction to "and" and you link the two thoughts.

How about this, "Extensive damage was reported in the area, and there was one related death."

Vicki said...

They shouldn't minimize the one death.

Jan said...

Love these, and the answers that people are emailing. Keep 'em coming!