100% Lillian: Lullabies and Love

Look Up: A Centennial Celebration wraps up on this very special Friday -- 100 years ago today, Sophie and Issie Eisen welcomed baby Lillian into the world. 

Lillian loved music her entire life, and learned how to play the piano as a child. It was a rare day that didn't find Mom singing a song, or humming along as someone else sang. When Village Shalom, her retirement community, brought in entertainers to perform for the residents, Mom was always in the front row, singing along and clapping enthusiastically. 

Matter of fact, one of her few complaints at Village Shalom was that not enough of the "old people" showed up for these weekly performances. (She also felt that those who did show up weren't nearly appreciative enough. Mom was a big believer in applauding the talents of those around her.) 

Mom's love of music -- and her appreciation of talent -- drew young people to her. They'd come to Village Shalom as part of a volunteer group or with a simple desire to connect, and be captured by the magic that was Mom. 

A delightful young woman named Sarah visited Mom regularly for years; Mom treasured a CD of Sarah singing some of their favorite songs. Paris Naster -- like Sarah, a musical theatre star -- met Mom back in 2017 and kindly sent an email, telling me how much she enjoyed their encounters:  

"We connected almost immediately and began singing," Paris said. "I have gone to see her about three times since and each time is wonderful. She shares with me her pride in being a Jew, her adoration of her family, and wonderful stories that bring joy to both of us ...

"I brought my Mom to meet her the other day and she said, 'We could be famous, you and me. We'd make a great team and an even better album!'"

Mom and Paris. They do make a great team.
If the video below of them singing doesn't work,
please forgive my technical 
incompetence and click here. 

Along with music, Mom loved children. I like to think that I top the list, followed by Harry and Eva or -- more likely -- Kate and Mary. (Ha! My blog, sibs. Write your own stories.) Put her love for music and children together and what do you have? Lullabies, of course! Mom wrote the music and lyrics for four beautiful lullabies -- one each for Harry, me, and Eva, and then the Choo Choo Song for all three of us. 

Over the years, Mom sang Hello Sandman; See Me, God; It's Nighty-Night Time; and the Choo Choo Song to us, our kids, and dozens of other lucky children. And the lyrical loveliness didn't stop with Mom: My sister, who recently retired from the MU Child Development Lab, rocked countless more babies to sleep to the tune of these songs.

The lullabies are part of Mom's legacy of love, so it's only fitting that they are Mom's centennial birthday gift to you. If you would like the sheet music to all four lullabies, leave your email address in the comments here, or send an email directly to me. It will be my great pleasure to send you a PDF of The Lillian Sokoloff Songbook. 

Because, lord knows, we can all use a little more Lillian in our lives. 

Big thanks to my friend Linda Sweenie
for translating the lullabies into sheet music! 

Oh! When you get the music and lyrics, remember that the classic Choo Choo Song is adaptable. The original version says, "Three sleepy children, just got on the train ..." because there were three of us. Make it work for your family. 

And, this is VERY IMPORTANT: You have to sing the Choo Choo Song last, right as your little one is drifting off. And you absolutely need to add the "Whoo! Whoo!" train whistle sound at the end. Lillian is listening for it. 

xoxo

How to Write a Valentine: Take Two

Happy Valentine's Day week! This Valentine is more than 100 years old -- some guy named Frank gave it to my grandmother Sophie, long before she was my grandmother. She never mentioned Frank to me, but I believe this may have been from her elementary school days -- back in the early 1900s. 

Want to give a Valentine that's worthy of being saved for generations? Here's a tip: Make your own! I posted advice to help you get started five years ago, and it still holds true. 

My Valentine's Day wish for you? I hope you are surrounded by love. And, of course, chocolate. 

Post 60: Lost

Yesterday's post reminded me of a poem I wrote a few years ago and recently edited. It's a visual poem -- the list and last line form the letter "L" for lost. I mention this because it matters, and I'm not sure it will be apparent in a blog post.

Lost

Allen

Anna

Babe

Bertha

Betty

Bill

Cerene

Earl

Eddie

Eddie

Edith

Harold

Issie

Joel

Joyce

Kiely

Lou

Martha

Morris

Mutt

Nanny

Opal

Pauline

Peggy

Peggy

Ruby

Sam

Shirley

Sophie

Vera

And the stillborn we chose not to name.

--------------------------------

And, on a completely different note, yesterday's post also reminds me of another poem I wrote, one that I think Mrs. Dougherty would have enjoyed:

S.O.B.

I told him

he was a

good for nothing

son of a bitch

and I meant

every word but

every word was a lie.

His mother was really

a lovely person

and he was very good

at some things.

Very good,

if you know what I mean.

And you know what I mean

because we’ve all been there.

We’ve all been in love

with a good for nothing

son of a bitch

and the horse

that he rode in on.

Sidenote for those of you just joining the fun: Post 60 is a digression on the Creative Instigation blog, part of my 60th year celebration. This is post 10 of the 60. Party on!

Creativity Tips: Be Kind

Part 4 in the Sophie Series:

On Feb. 12, 1966, my brother and sister and I gave this birthday card to our grandmother. Nanny liked it so much she framed it.

I was 10. (Go ahead. Do the math. Yes. I'm that old.) I'll tell you what, when I saw this card, in the frame, with my signature hidden, I was not a happy child.

I was, however, a well-bred child and I respected my elders, especially my grandmother. I didn't say a word.

Happily, I didn't have to. My grandmother was kind. As busy as she always was, she was never too busy to pay attention to those around her and pick up on their feelings. So, when she noticed my dismay, she took action.

She took the card out of the frame and asked me to sign it again. That's my signature, smooshed in-between Eva and Harry.



What does this have to do with creativity? Everything. One of the biggest barriers to creativity is fear. We don't want to look stupid, be laughed at, feel criticized. So we don't share our creative ideas, we wouldn't dream of showing someone our poetry, we diminish ourselves daily. I can't paint. I can't cook. You're so good; I could never do that.

We hide our truest selves. We become invisible.

But there are some people -- like my grandmother -- who are too kind to allow that. They see what others miss. They create environments where we feel safe to share, encouraged to be honest, inspired to do our best. Environments where we know our feelings matter. We matter -- no matter how old we are or what position we hold in a family, a company, a team.

It's easy for me to remember the importance of kindness; the framed card hangs in my office, right next to my desk. Because "Be Kind" is more than a creativity tip for me. It's the essence of who I strive to be.


P.S. Thanks to Leslie for the photos!!

Creativity Exercise: Contradictions

I'm going to take a quick break from the Sophie Series for this:

Kate and I braved the 110 degree heat index this weekend to go to the Johnson County Arboretum. We lasted about 15 minutes, but it was long enough to get this photo and this exercise:

Today, do something creative built around the concept of contradiction. What do I mean? A photo of a door that says "No access." Sweet and sour recipes. A poem about industrial parks. Or one of my favorite contradictions: People who say, "I don't care," when they really, really, really care a lot.

Whatever. You choose the contradiction and the creative venue. Go! Play! Enjoy! And tell me what you do ...

Creativity Tips: Fill in the Blanks

Part 3 in the Sophie Series:

So, tell me, what the heck would I end up with if I made this recipe?

This is one of my grandmother's many original recipes. It's probably delicious -- or the start of something delicious -- but since I don't know what it is, I'm not likely to mix it up. Here's where we can learn from one of Nanny's rare creative mistakes. When it came to cooking, she didn't always fill in the blanks:

• She didn't like people "underfoot" in her kitchen -- it's hard to learn if you can't watch.
• Many of her recipes include only ingredients -- no instructions.
• Some of the ingredients are identified by brand names. The brands no longer exist, so I don't even know what ingredient is required. (Spry?)

If I ever write a rulebook for creativity, one of the Top 10 will be this: Share your knowledge openly and happily. Let others take your creativity and build on it, adapt it, apply it. Let us enjoy it! Creativity is like my grandmother's yummy food -- always better when shared.

P.S. I was allowed in the kitchen because I sat quietly in the corner on a footstool. Some of the best memories of my childhood are sitting in that kitchen, watching Nanny cook. And just saying that reminds me of this ...

P.P.S. Nanny did share information she felt was critical. Her kitchen was kosher -- there was no mixing of meat and milk dishes, utensils, food. To make sure we understood what went where, she very clearly marked the inside of her kitchen drawers: MEAT and MILK.

P.P.P.S. Thanks to Leslie for the photo!

Creativity Tips: Put a Ring On It

Part 2 in the Sophie Series:

Let's start your day with a little quiz. It's easy; choose one of these two shining options.

1. You can tell someone, "If you like it, then you better put a ring on it."
2. You can stop waiting for someone else, put your hands up and flash your own dang ring.

My grandmother wasn't a Single Lady. She married at 18. In keeping with Orthodox Jewish tradition, she wore a wedding band unbroken by any jewels. On the other hand, literally, she wore this gorgeous ring.

Nanny saw this ring, loved this ring, and bought it for herself. Why? Because she knew she was worth it. She appreciated her own talents. And, now and then, she stopped spoiling the rest of the world long enough to give herself a treat.

How's your self esteem these days? When was the last time you celebrated yourself? Do you wait for others to tell you what a great job you've done? Or do you recognize your own excellence, applaud your talents, and happily share them?

Nanny was a creative wonder. There's never been another like her and there never will be. Interesting fact, though. There's never been another like you, either. And there never will be.

Consider that reminder a little present, all wrapped up with the bow on Nanny's ring.

Thanks to Leslie for the photo!

Creativity Tips: Remember Your Roots

One of the strongest creative influences in my life was Sophie Eisen, my grandmother. I've spoken about her a few times on the CI blog, but there's so much more to say. Now, thanks to wonderful photographs from the amazing Leslie, I am prepared to share! Over the next week or so, I'll bring you creativity tips from Nanny (that's what we called Sophie), beautifully illustrated by Leslie's photographs.

Let's start with this shot of Nanny holding me. I was 2. She was 58. (Feel free to post comments re: how adorable I am. Thank you.)

The first lesson? Your perspective shapes how you see the world. Creative growth recognizes and embraces changing perspectives. For example, 58 doesn't sound as old to me now as it did then. I can embrace that. However, when I look at Nanny at 58, I have a hard time reconciling that with me at 56.

We all see the world through our own (distorted? You tell me.) lenses. To boost creativity, change your perspective -- consciously and deliberately. Ask yourself: How would a child view this creative challenge? What would an accountant do with this? If you had to explain it to someone who didn't speak English, could you? How?

Changing perspectives opens your eyes to new possibilities. Don't believe me? Change your physical perspective and see how different the world looks.

Back to the photo -- look at that hold she has on me. Nanny was solid. She was strong. She had the best heart ever.

But I digress. The date on the photograph reminds me of another creativity lesson Nanny embodied: If you don't like reality, change it.

Nanny, who was born on Feb. 13, 1899, was very superstitious. VERY superstitious. So having a birthday on the 13th really didn't work for her. What to do? Simple. On every form and whenever asked, Nanny claimed that her birthday was Feb. 12, 1899.

Would that have been a problem had she needed a passport? Possibly. But she didn't need a passport. She needed a birthday that wasn't on unlucky 13. When Nanny didn't like something, she didn't complain, she didn't whine, she didn't sulk. She fixed it. Now there's a concept.

We were lucky to have Nanny for 77 years; she died of cancer in 1976 and I still miss her every single day. Truly. It's not that physical pain anymore, but it's constant. I don't care what they say: There are some deaths you really never "get over."

And why would we want to?

Food is Love: Pumpkin Bread

Can you believe Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away? Time really does fly ... whether you're having fun or not.

Right now, I'm having fun planning for the big meal. My grandmother's pumpkin bread is always on the menu. It's yummy. And this recipe makes three good-sized loaves. Or two loaves and muffins. Mmmmm. Pumpkin muffins. They even sound delicious. Enjoy!

Sophie's Pumpkin Bread
3 cups sugar
1 cup oil
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 tablespoon nutmeg
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup water
4 eggs
1 16 oz. can of pumpkin
3 1/2 cups of flour
1 tablespoon baking soda
1 cup raisins (optional)
1/2 cup nuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix together all ingredients. Pour into loaf pans and bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes. More or less. Size matters, so consider the size of your pans and check as you go. (My grandmother's note says she used the 3x7 disposable pans and this made four pans. The note also says she took it to the May 3 potluck. I love old notes.)

FYI, I generally put about 1/3 or 1/2 cup of raisins in just one of the loaves. I like raisins, but not everyone in the family does. This recipe gives you so much batter, you can please everyone. Happy people, breaking bread together. I'm always thankful for that!

Creativity Tips: Be Clear

There are times when the most productive creative act is simple communication.

Take, for example, my grandmother. In her kosher kitchen, she kept two sets of dishes and silverware -- one for meat and one for milk.

It was important to her that these sets were kept separate. So, she made it easy on those of us who might put things away or get things out. She wrote inside the drawers and shelves:

MILK

MEAT

We didn't have to think about what fork or plate went where. She made the process simple. It's the KISS approach in action: Keep It Simple, Sophie.

P.S. There's only one blog reader who remembers Sophie. Maybe two. But we can all learn from her. Tomorrow, I'll tell you about the deck of cards with the scantily clad women ... or maybe about the cookies. We'll see what mood I'm in ...

Creativity Tips: Ice Your Coffee with Coffee

I was enjoying an iced coffee today, and it reminded me of my grandmother, Sophie Eisen.

Sophie could cook and bake better than anyone I've ever known. She created her own recipes, and they are amazing. She was also a poet and a tailor and the only woman the men allowed in the weekly family poker game.

She was, quite simply, the best.

Here's the iced coffee tip I learned from her -- and it's a bit of creative genius. Nanny, as we called her, would make ice cubes out of black coffee, so she could cool hot coffee without watering it down. It also works great for iced coffee, a true summer treat for me and my fellow caffeine fanatics.

P.S. No, it's not a real bull. But why let reality get in the way of a great photo?