Thursday, October 29, 2015

Halloween 2015: Change is Scary

For decades ... decades ... we've had Mom out to our house for Halloween. The tradition is simple and dear: Tom makes his world-famous taco soup, we have dinner, then I get Mom set up at the front door, where she hands out candy to all the adorable trick-or-treaters.

During the past few years, I've been impressed with how well behaved the kids are, as they patiently wait for Mom to ooh and ahh over their costumes, and then try to drop the candy into their buckets. Her macular degeneration is at the point now where she can't see the buckets. (I'm not sure she can see the costumes either, but she certainly acts like she can.)

One mother told me that her children always look forward to going to the house with the nice old lady.

This year, the nice old lady won't be there. I've decided she's just not up to it. Mom turned 94 in April and the past year has been a difficult one. She rarely stays up past 7 p.m. Unusual activities exhaust her. Her memory is no longer linear. One day she'll know me and everything about me. The next day, she'll wonder if I'm her sister.

She can't remember ever being at my house. I haven't had the heart to ask if she remembers Halloween.

So, this year, I'll be at the door and I'll do my best to live up to Mom's example. I'll ooh and ahh and hand out the treats. I know some of the kids will be disappointed that the nice old lady isn't there.

I just hope they have no idea how disappointed I am.
Letting go of what has been? That's tricky.
Holding these memories close? That's a treat. 
Sidenote: Post 60 is a digression on the Creative Instigation blog, part of my 60th year celebration. We'll count this as post 14 of the 60. 

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