A Creativity Query and Exercise

As we move toward the wrap-up of 2011, it's a great time to think back. What did you learn this year? And, if you like to make New Year's resolutions, how would you apply that learning to 2012?

This has been a year of tremendous change and learning for me. For example, I discovered:

• The empty nest event was far more traumatic than I expected and I am truly grateful for the friends who understood and supported me through that. I will always be happiest when the family is together, but I have stopped wandering the house aimlessly when I'm here by myself.
• Thinking of exercise as part of my daily ritual changes everything. I don't have to resolve to say a prayer when I wake up or brush my teeth; I do both automatically. Now, I don't have to resolve to exercise. I don't even have to go to the gym -- I exercise when I walk by standing straight and engaging muscles I used to ignore.
• The iPad is the greatest invention of all time.
• I am still not a great judge of character. I assume everyone is good and my friend. Oddly enough, they're not. Fortunately, I have wonderful friends who kindly point out when I'm being blindsided -- and I have learned to listen. This is huge: I used to assume the other people just didn't understand. Now, I realize I'm the one who often doesn't get it.
• I don't need everyone to be my friend. Whoa. I no longer need unending validation.
• I love basmati rice. I created a recipe with it that I'll share one of these days. Never used to think I could make up recipes -- just follow them. You never know what you can do until you try.
• Schedule and environment shape my creativity. When a long-term client asked me to empty out my cubicle and stop coming in to the office on a daily basis, it took quite a while for me to work through the related change in my writing approach. I feed off people, interaction. I listen to hallway conversations and grab words for copy. And environment matters. I can't work in ugly.

I could go on, but ... enough about me. What about you? What have you learned this year? And how could that relate to a resolution? To help get your creative juices flowing, consider this:

How do you define yourself? If you had only one word to use, what would it be? Now, how would you like to define yourself?

My word is strong. Isn't that amazing? Never would have been my word before. In 2012, I'm resolved to strengthen myself, my relationships and my creativity.

And now that I have that settled, I'm going to enjoy the rest of 2011! I hope you do too.

Stormy Jackson and Windhorse Tattoo

When you think of a tattoo artist, what image pops into your head? Let's say it's a guy. Is he smart and articulate? Kind? Friendly? Approachable?

Is his studio sparkling clean, sunny and filled with fabulous artwork?

My image of a tattoo artist and his studio changed dramatically when I went with Kate* to watch her shoot this video of Stormy Jackson at Windhorse Tattoo in Kansas City's Crossroads District. It's a quick watch, great video, wonderful audio. And a solid reminder that, realize it or not, we all have prejudices tattooed across our minds.


*Yes. I do have the most talented children in the universe. Thank you. Kate did this as part of her internship at T2+Back Alley Films.

Creativity Tips: Say NO in November

NO.

I planned to post this on Nov. 1 to kick off the month. But, as time approached, that started to feel like a self-imposed, needless deadline during a very busy week. So I followed my own advice. I began November by saying NO to myself.

Say NO in November is my annual campaign to reclaim the holiday season and whatever remains of my sanity every year. It's very simple. I say NO whenever I receive a request that would add more stress than joy to my life.

Let me make this perfectly clear: Stress doesn't mean it's a negative event I'm rejecting. This past week, I said NO to leading worship on Saturday morning at the synagogue. Leading worship certainly gives me joy -- but I have to prepare. I have to review. I get nervous beforehand.

I refuse to make time for all that right now. I simply want to enjoy November and December. So I said NO.

Stress, as I'm defining it, could be related to time, people, effort, energy. It could be spacial stress -- the event is on the other side of town. It could be psychic stress -- you're not sure about the expectations tied to the request. It could be family stress -- you really, really, really don't want to spend 30 more minutes in the same room with that particular cousin.

Whatever it is, formalizing your approach makes it simple to say NO. You don't have to come up with any excuse. You don't have to feel guilty. You are part of the Say NO in November campaign.

In my experience, it's best to make your participation in the campaign known ahead of time. That not only fends off requests, but makes it incredibly easy to reject them. People are prepared for the NO. If you're blindsided, use the official campaign response. Come on, practice it with me:

"Thank you so much! I appreciate the (offer/invite/whatever). However, I've joined the Say NO in November campaign. So, thanks again, but NO."

Like this idea? Stick around. You're gonna love DECLINE in December.

Last-Minute Halloween Treats!

When the girls were little, we watched a lot of Barney. A LOT OF BARNEY. The "I love you, you love me" song still pops unbidden into my head every once in a while. Talk about being haunted ...

But preschoolers these days are apparently tuning in to Pocoyo. I don't know Pocoyo from Popeye, but the little guy's PR person sent me a link with some fun last-minute Halloween ideas. Enjoy!

I (Still) Do

As the rabbi said before you broke the glass,

"If anything must be broken, let it be this glass --
not your vows and not your hearts."

Happy 26th anniversary, Tom!

Creativity Exercise: A Fabulous Photograph

For today's creativity exercise, you don't have to get out a clean sheet of paper. You don't have to email me the answer. All you have to do is answer this question -- in the comments or in your head: Why do I love this photograph? (I as in me. Jan. Not I as in you. Fred. Or whoever.)

Go ahead. Answer. I'll wait. La de da de da de da. Doodle doo ... it's a lovely day today, and whatever you've got to do, you've got a lovely day to do it in, it's true ....

OK, got the answer? See if it matches any of mine. I love this photograph because:

• It reminds me of the fabulous time I had with Tom and our friends at the World War I museum in KC, including our trip to the top of the Liberty Memorial -- a vantage point that gives you this view.
• It is a photo of my hometown and I really like KC.
• It includes the old (Union Station) and the new (Kauffman Performing Arts Center).
• It's black and white. Isn't it lovely that a few things in the world really are black and white?

But the real reason I love this photo? Drum roll, please:

Because I took it.

Does that sound insanely egotistical to you? Guess what? I don't care.

I realize my stance on creative pride places me in the oddball category, a drawer I've been in before. But I bring this up for a reason: Lately, I've run into several depressing examples of amazingly talented people massively minimizing their accomplishments. We're not talking about healthy humility here. We're talking about people who clearly feel unworthy of praise and admiration.

If you ever feel that way, consider my perspective: Diminishing my talents doesn't boost anyone else. Downplaying my accomplishments doesn't make anyone else more skilled. On the other hand, if I stand up and say: Look at me! Look at this! It's so cool -- and I took it with a phone! I implicity give others permission to do the same. To celebrate their own wonderfulness.

So here's the view I really want to share: You're amazing. I know it. And I want you to enjoy it.

Creativity Tips: 10 Instant Mentoring Tips

How's your filing system? Can you find something when you need it -- so you don't have to recreate the wheel? My filing system -- electronic and physical -- ain't great. But, I'm delighted to report that I quickly found an Instant Mentoring tip sheet that will come in handy for a meeting next week. Since I found it, I'm going to share it. Enjoy!


1. Remember what your mother said.
Say "please." Say "thank you." Keep your promises. Keep your hands to yourself. Courteous, kind colleagues are highly valued – and far too rare in today’s stress-for-success business world. Good manners won’t slow you down on the way to the top. It only takes a minute to hold an elevator, send a birthday card or pause for the answer when you ask, "How are you?" Over the course of a career, those minutes will be time well spent. Trust me on this: I’m a mother.

2. Read what you don’t need.
If you always read the trades and the business pubs, congratulations. Now, take it up a notch. Look through a magazine that’s completely outside your industry. Enjoy Robert Frost poetry online – you can even find places where he reads it to you. Give your creativity the juice with Dr. Seuss. Expand your literary horizons, and oh, the places you’ll go …

3. Appreciate the administrative staff.

Make no doubt about it. These are the people who really know how to get things done. They'll get you in to see the boss and get you out of trouble. Lord knows, they've pulled me off the ledge more than once.

4. Everyone needs a little sweets.

My grandmother said it and she was right. Oh, I know. Everyone is on the Atkins diet, or the South Beach diet, or the "I’ll just have the salad with the dressing on the side" diet. Truth is, most people really want that $7 cheesecake with the ripple of fudge and the mound of whipped cream. At least, they’d like a nibble. So, if you’re buying, buy dessert. Tell them it’s a rule: You always have dessert if it’s a business meal. And they don’t have to clean the plate.

5. Three is magic.

"I love you." "Lights, camera, action!" "On your mark, get set, go!" Series of threes work, in everything from copywriting to design. Try it the next time you write a speech or a column: Tell them what you’re going to tell them. Tell them. Then tell them what you told them. Think it doesn’t matter? Just do it.

6. Trust yourself.
If your guts tell you something is wrong, listen.

7. Realize that you are replaceable.

Now, most people will tell you that you’re replaceable at work … but not at home. It’s a lovely concept, but look around. Check out the ever-climbing divorce rate. Consider how many parents see their kids every other weekend. Then, decide what you really value, and make sure your actions reflect your priorities. And, when it comes to being replaced at work, remember: It’s a lot easier for the boss to promote you if your replacement is trained and ready to go.

8. Know when to go.

As James Taylor says, "Time may be money, but your money won’t buy time." No matter how long it is, life is too short – way too short to spend the majority of your waking hours someplace you don’t enjoy. If you’re not having fun at work, find something else to do or somewhere else to do it. Yes, I know. That’s easier said than done. But you tell me: How easy is it to get up every morning and go to a job you hate?

9. It’s not brain surgery.
God love 'em, I don’t know what neurosurgeons say. But most jobs are not brain surgery. (Many don’t even appear to require much grey matter.) Remember, your mistakes aren’t life and death issues – even if they feel like it at the time. Take responsibility, fix what you can, learn what you should, and move on.

10. Forget what your mother said.
There is such a thing as a stupid question. You don’t have to wait to be invited. And if you don’t have anything nice to say, call me. We’ll do lunch.